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| Every morning, at 1:33, the Malibu lights outside my window go off.
Each day at work, and it never fails, I look at the clock at exactly 4:55 and 6:23.
Anytime I am driving at night, the street lamps seem to either fizzle out, or come on as I pass underneath them.
I had bad day. I missed my first class because my alarm didn't go off. Lame, I know...but most of today was, in fact, just that. Bad days are so much worse when you don't have anyone to share them with. As I was driving to work today, a march was played on WRR Classical 101.1. I started crying. It reminded me of being in New Boston(we had a military band, so marches were a big deal), and assuming that things would never change...at least not in the extreme ways that they did. No one is naive enough to believe that NOTHING will change, but I remember having a sense of knowing where things were headed, or at least thinking I did. I seem to be at an impasse...not remembering where I came from, and not knowing where I'm headed.
I'm ok. Things will make sense again, and while I'd rather it be sooner than later, I'll have to attempt to have some patience. I am not a patient person, however, so obtaining it is never an easy task.
Loneliness is much better when you have someone to share it with. | | |
| Anyone who has ever been around me for more than five minutes knows that I have an odious habit of chewing on my fingers. Yes...my fingers. Not my nails or my cuticles, but my fingers. I know I know...it's execrable, but it is something that I have done since I was in the seventh grade, and I hate it as much as anyone else, if not more so. Today, however, it finally dawned on me what the motivation behind my gnawing was.
When I am thinking about something, I chew. I don't know why it is, but it is. Anytime I am mulling over thoughts in my head, my hands are in my mouth. There are days when I wake up and don't start chewing...these are days when I don't have a lot on my mind. Again, if you know me, you know that days in which I have nothing on my mind are few and far between. Even now, between each sentence I type, I chew because I am thinking of how exactly I should word the next sentence.
This is why it has always irritated me so when someone tells me to stop chewing on my fingers. Because I chew in unison with thinking...if someone tells me to stop, they have interrupted my thought process by burdening me with their disapproval of my quirk. As if my thoughts weren't already burdensome enough...
So that's my spiel, and I know it's a disgusting habit, but so is being judgemental. To think is to chew...eh?
I fell in church this morning...it was graceful, as I am known to be, and Alex (the kid in front of us) got a kick out of it. But hey...if one is going to fall, I can't think of any better place to do so. | Currently Watching
Friends with Money
By Jennifer Aniston, Frances McDormand, Joan Cusack, Catherine Keener, Greg Germann, Simon McBurney, Jason Isaacs, Scott Caan, Ty Burrell, Bob Stephenson (II), Romy Rosemont, Timm Sharp, Hailey Noelle Johnson, Jenn Fee, Jake Cherry, Marin Hinkle, Troy Ruptash, Elizabeth Keener, John Srednicki, Will Keenan
see related |
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| Denton-
Home of:
-24 hour coffee house
-Cereal/Coffee bar(That's right...a cereal bar with 30+ cereals to choose from)
-Foliage
-Strange people
-The Opera House(Recycled Book Store)
Pause: A bus just drove by that was identical to the one in Little Miss Sunshine. Fantastic.
Continue:
-A great music scene
-The courthouse...surrounded by trees covered in Christmas lights
And fortunately..me.
It's raining out. Daphne's not a fan, but I am. It's ironic that rain lifts my spirits, but I don't think I'm alone in this irony. I think I could sit in Jupiter House all day, especially on a day like this. Unfortunately...I have to go.
The Pride Parade
It started out quite simply, as complex things can do;
A set of sad transparencies 'til no one could see through,
But least of all the one inside, behind the iron glass;
A prisoner of all your dreams that never come to pass.
Alone you stand corrupted by the vision that you sought,
And blinded by your hunger all your appetites are bought,
But in spite of what becomes of you, your image will remain;
A reminder of your constant loss, a symbol of your gain.
And your friends are together,
Where the people are all gathered,
All along the road you traveled all your days.
And soon you have succumbed to what the others all believe,
And though the lie affects them still it's you that they deceive,
And all at once you're lost within the emptiness of you,
And there's no one left who's near enough to tell you what to do.
You're left with nothing but your self-potential in the dark,
Like tinder resting on a rock, protected from the spark,
But your fire just consumes you, you alone can feel the pain,
And you stand in all your glory and you know you can't complain.
But you are surely just as evil as the worst my tongue can tell,
For you'll never face my heaven and I'll not endure your hell.
You have lost your chance to mingle with your constant quiet lies;
Deceptions hidden with your lips, but spoken with your eyes.
For I know you for what you are not for that's really all you are.
And your talents of a minor order seem to stretch too far.
And we both know that this masquerade can't carry on too long.
You're deep inside the Pride Parade, but where do you belong?
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| So Niles is gone...
We sold him to a nice 6 year old boy named Tanner. Tanner has the best first grade teacher in the world and his birthday is coming soon(hence the purchase of Niles). Of course...mom accidentally put the check than Tanner's dad wrote in the offering plate this morning, thinking it was the check she had written to the church. Whoops.
Daphne misses her brother...and has been moping around the house since his departure. Poor thing.
Anyway, I'm sure Niles will be better off with Tanner...and the kid was genuinely excited about his new pal. I don't think he'll even mind the extra paw/claw that Niles has...
Au revoir mon petit ami
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| An attempt to save my soul.
There are so many people who constantly live in the past. We often find ourselves looking over our shoulders at that which is behind us. We often hear the expression that hindsight is always 20' 20'. But what good is our looking backward? We often find that yesterday has bonds upon us that we cannot break.
Our yesterdays present a barrier to effective living in the present when we are unable or unwilling to overcome the injuries we receive and the sorrow which has swamped our souls. There is not a man or woman living who has not known some disappointment, loss, or injury. But if we dwell on it our lives will be barren and bitter. We cannot relive over and over all the sad experiences of our yesterdays. To do so it to make hell come on Earth.
There is the person who says "I am sorry; I just never will feel the same again toward a certain person because of the way he hurt me." There is also the person who says, "Well, I tried to do something meaningful in the past and failed, now I am afraid to try again." Others find themselves imprisoned as a result of a sense of shame for past sins. All who live with the heavy shadows of the past over them are prisoners of their yesterdays.
How do we overcome our yesterdays?
By a selective forgetfulness. Paul(The Apostle)said,"...This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind..." There comes a time in every person's life when he needs to learn how to forget. We do not wish to forget everything which is past. Memories of yesterday may be enriching and beneficial. Our stored up possessions in joy, beauty, and friendship can come to cheer us in the bleak and lonely days of difficulty. But there are some yesterdays that must be dealt with and their power destroyed, if ever any forward movement worthy of the name of God is to take place.
What can we do to forget the past when someone has treated us unjustly? Jesus' old rule is still profoundly significant. "Forgive seventy times seven." Only as we forgive habitually can we forget the past.
It has been said that the world belongs to the man who knows where he is going. I am not sure that is true; but rather I believe the world belongs to the man who knows who is going with him.
We can have hope in the future because the same Christ who died is risen and goes before us. We overcome our yesterdays and are freed from haunted houses and prisons as we realize that yesterday has no hold on us because we move and have our being in Christ and we press on to the maturity that comes from walking with Him.
So Paul says, "Let those of us who are mature be thus minded," That is that, "Brethren, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." | | |
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